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When asked what she wishes her mom would do differently while dating, Rachel, a smart young graduate student, replied, “I wish she would recognize her own impulsivity and emotional rollercoaster.

"I tell clients that having some time for 'just themselves' is important," she says.

Don't have shared custody or family or friends in the area? You're older now, hopefully wiser, and have kids to consider.

You can't date the same way now as you did in your twenties, Baumgartner says.

"Not to say that one should abstain from this kind of activity, but it's best to do it when the kids are not in your custody or [are] at a friend's house." Still thinking of having your new love spend the night when the kids are home?

"A good rule of thumb is to do a 'morning after' gut check," Boykin says.